A FATHER'S LOVE

Dearest son,

It is a week before your first birthday and your mom and I thought it would be good idea to write you an email to explain all the things that have occurred during this long, but also short time. Your birth seems like it was yesterday, and I was sleeping on the small couch for two days where my legs were hanging off the end (that means it was a pretty small couch), and we were woken up every three hours so the nurses could help change you and help your mom feed you. Those days were long, but some of the first days we spent as a family. I did not know it then, but something also was born in me during that time.

I cannot explain what it was, but knew that I wanted to protect you, teach you the ways of the world, and also watch you grow at the same time. Some say it is parenthood, but I feel that is only one aspect. That day a connection between you, mom, and myself was created and from that day on it has only grown. At first, it was difficult as you only slept, ate, and looked at us as we were things from a science fiction movie (I will take you to plenty of these in the future). However, we made it through the pains of the first three weeks and you cracked your first smile. Wow! Your mom might disagree, but I feel you will have the warm and confident smile from your old man. Soon, the first month was over and you and your mom were off to the US. I felt that this was the best decision, as I was buried in Masters work and it was better for your mom to be near her parents and people who could speak English. I did not think it would be hard, but I must say we had something going before you left and I had to earn it back when I saw you again.

Fast forward three months and we were reunited in SC and then off we were to Chicago (You always were a jet setter from an early age). It was a whirlwind, but I felt like I was figuring you out all over again as you had grown so much. Technology is amazing in so many ways, but nothing could prepare me for seeing how much you had grown in our time apart. From Chicago we went to Olathe for the first time, and you experienced heat for the first time and your mom and I grew stronger as parents, as we knew our first priority was you. The next weeks were filled with family and new people and then off I was again to Spain to finish my masters. Again, I felt it best to depart your company, and I know, just when we were connecting again. In my mind I knew it was for the best, as getting the Masters out the way when you were this young would allow me to spend time with you more in the future. Spain flew by and I picked your mom and you up in SC, and then off to Brazil. 

I know that these will be vague memories for you in the future, but I want you to know that you had an amazing home and nanny in Brazil. Keila loved you from day one, and you loved her, which put your mom and I at ease. We feel that you probably talked more to her in those first months, than to us, but we cherished every moment with you when we got home and took care of you on the weekends. I am not saying it was a walk in the park, but both your mom and I grew as parents and we learned so many things about you and us. We would take frequent walks around Avendia Julio de Mesquita and everyone knew you (gas station attendants, waiters at Riviera, and other tenants of apartments around our building, 910), because Keila took you out almost everyday to "passar a rua." You loved going outside, just as much you probably will in the future. 

Gretchen Rubin once said the days are long, and the years are short. This is so true in this first year, as I feel the time as flown by, but the day to day activities have seemed endless at times. From cereal, to play time, to nap time, to play time, to almoco, to play time, to mamdera, to nap time, to fruta, to play time, to jantar, to play time, to bath time, to leite, and then off to bed. These are the activities that filled our days. To be honest son, it was hard work, but it became easier once your mom and I learned to become more efficient at understanding you and what you needed. Additionally, this is where I must add that our connection grew stronger and I fell more in love with you. You will find that I observe more than I say, and that is because I truly want to understand things and learn from them, and this was no different with you. I just observed and watched you for probably the first 5 months before I could look deep into your eyes and knew that you saw me and I saw you. From that time on, it was just activity after activity of us growing closer. From me teaching you how to turn on an iPhone, throwing balls, you laughing at my silly faces, and you wanting to always go another lap running around the apartment. These are the memories that I will cherish and forever imprint on my mind.

Son, I thank God for giving you to us and want to share a secret he provides in every situation. Everything is a treasure, you just have to sift away the parts until you see it. Often times, it is hard to see it at first, but their is always some form of treasure in every situation. So always seek to see this in every situation. God provided us this opportunity for us and know you are a treasure to your mom and I. Some people say that children either bring parents together or push them apart, and I must say that you have brought your mom and me together to form our beautiful family. So happy first birthday Filho, and here is to an even better year 2!

Love Always,

Pai

As I read Jess' letter to Tae my eyes filled with tears and my heart with joy. I am so blessed to get to do life with this man, and now Tae is so blessed to have him as his daddy.  Thank you Jesus for such wonderful guys to fill my heart.